with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it was like eating out sand paper
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
