I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
