she kept yelling 'call me bella'
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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