Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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