hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
