It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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