My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
