I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
