I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
