i permit you to call me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
