Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The struggles of a small town man whore
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
