Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
