just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize