What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
