And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
