So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
