so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
