sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
