just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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