STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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