dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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