Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
