his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
