I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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