is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
