You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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