In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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