he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
