you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
