Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
