plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
