tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
