look no pants
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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