I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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