you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
