Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we made out on top of his cat.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
