just tell him i said nine months
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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