This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
