I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
