My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Screwed.edu
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
