hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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