I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
