If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
