the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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