ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
