Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
