It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
