her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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