Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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