I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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