im about as happy as oj after his trial
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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